Dear Brain of Kathryn Elisabeth Goldin (aka My Brain),
I am writing to discuss a relatively recent, yet worrying, trend. In the last few weeks, you have shown diminished, if not completely absent, capacity for
::stringing a coherent sentence
::remembering where you last put your keys/wallet/child
::remembering any appointments or dates
::cooking anything without setting off the fire alarm
::put your clothes on right side out
While, this is normally forgiveable given your hormone-laden state at 8 months pregnant, the worrying issue is what has taken over your synapses.
Laying awake at night obsessing about a seed or garter stitch hem...not ok.
Queueing patterns on Ravelry at 3am...unacceptable
Ignoring your husband's entrance into the house until you "just finish this section"...selfish and rude.
Perusing Texere and Fyberspates and drawing up a "wish list" whilst your son climbs on your lap and says, "But I am SO hungry, Mama!**"...unspeakable.
(Oh and Hand of Kathryn Elisabeth Goldin, don't think I don't see your part in this...constantly wandering around the house with the latest project in your fingers, or when hands are needed, tucking said project into the front of your shirt. Not good.)
Now, I do realise that I was warned this might happen. In an email conversation with Claire, you were told that knitting for a baby was what got her addicted. Obviously, that got lodged somewhere within your grey matter and began to spread like a fungus.
You need to get some priorities straight and you need to get a life...or become obsessed with something lucrative or useful, such as finding a cure for hangnails or doing the laundry.
Kathryn Elisabeth Goldin, Esq.
**Please note: no children were starved in the making of this blog post.