"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." Kahlil Gibran
I have always hoped that Kahlil Gibran's words in on Joy and Sorry from the Prophet are true. Its a poem I have had to go pack to far too frequently this year, this 2009. Far too many people we know, people who have shared our lives in some small way have suffered innumerable losses these last few months. Miscarriages, loss of parents and loss of 4 babies, with another small girl not meant for this world again yesterday.
I can accept that we have reached a time in our lives where death begins to rear its head with more regularity. It is the other side of becoming parents and getting older. The inevitable loss of parents begins with some of those closest to us. We know more people with children and therefore more people who lose children. But that is where logic ends.
I have found myself in floods of tears so many times in the last few months, asking 'why' and 'how' and 'what if'. Of course I don't have any answers. Well, maybe just one...the gifts we have are precious. Not to be taken for granted. And that luck and fate and miracles are more a part of our lives than our Western, linear society may ever accept.
Its easy to respond to these events with fear...holding on too tightly to those I love, keeping them so close they can not get hurt. But I know I can't and that from the moment of conception, parenting is a process of letting go so they can grow. And so I do (or at least I try to) and think of O, C, FV, and baby M and their families and hope with all that I have for one day joy to fill the space that sorrow has left.